Chapter 6
Before I could say a word, she was all the way down. Her hair fell forward, brushing my belly and thighs as she settled between my legs. First came the light kiss on the tip, just her soft lips touching, warm and wet, testing. I let out a full-body shiver, my cock throbbed hard upward, lightly tapping her chin. She laughed softly against my skin, the hot breath from her nose sending more shivers through me.
Then she opened her mouth slow and took the whole head in. Her tongue came hot and flat, licking under the glans, circling slow around the sensitive ridge. It was so damn wet, slippery, and every lick sent a spark straight to my gut. She sucked slow at first, just the tip in her mouth, drawing lightly while her tongue danced on the slit, lapping up the pre-cum that kept dripping. The sound was wet, obscene, a soft slurp-slurp mixed with her heavy breathing through her nose.
She went deeper, swallowing slow, inch by inch. The hot, tight mouth wrapped around everything, her cheeks hollowing when she sucked harder. Her teeth grazed lightly on the stretched skin, not hurting, just enough to make me groan hoarse and grip the sheet hard. She used her hand at the base to follow the motion, sliding up and down with her mouth, squeezing firm so nothing slipped away. The other hand went to my balls, massaging slow, rolling them in her warm palm, giving a light squeeze every time she went deep.
I could feel her throat contract when she tried to take more, the wet heat enveloping as far as it could, her tongue pressing from underneath the whole time. Every time she came up, she released slow, licking the vein that pulsed on the underside, then dove back down on the whole thing with a low moan that vibrated through my cock. The arousal built in waves, tightening my belly, making my thighs tremble, my nipples hard and rubbing against the bunched-up dress.
I completely zoned out. I don't know how long it lasted, or how she managed to take me so deep without gagging, or when I started moaning loud without shame. The world faded away, leaving only the wet heat of her mouth, the rhythmic back and forth, the suction pulling me into her, the unbearable throbbing in my swollen cock. My whole body shook, my legs spread wider, like I was just some girl getting eaten out, hips bucking up on their own to meet her mouth, giving it all up.
But no cumming.
"Fuck, you shameless cocksucker!" I said, hand over my face protesting and thanking her for leaving me right on the edge for so long.
She was good at it, but I was too nervous, way too much, I couldn't relax, and there was a lack of real passion in the whole thing. I confess.
"Rebeca... you know what I'm thinking, right?"
"I do, and the answer is no, fuck girl, it feels like we're doing some weird experiment. If you wanna fuck me, fuck me right!" I snapped at her.
And one thing I started to get, is that in sex, there are dynamics, two passives don't make it work. I didn't know how I'd feel sticking my cock in someone, and the idea gave me a slight unease.
"No! I was thinking... more like... in this case, it was you fucking me for real!"
I looked at her and at everything we were doing and let out
"Are you sure you want your first time like this, in such a lame way?"
"When's the last time you heard someone say they lost their virginity to a friend with a gorgeous dick?" she laughed, teasing. "Is there anything more special than that?"
I sat up on the bed frustrated, almost crying. My chest tightened in a way I couldn't explain. I didn't know how to use my body right, everything in my head was different, confused. I didn't know if I wanted to be the guy in it, or get fucked like a girl, or both at the same time. It was a mess that made me want to disappear.
"But I don't know how to do this..."
"And you think I do? Would you know how if it was me fucking you?"
"No!"
"Then there you go... you big-dicked girl."
"Don't call me that, I don't like it," I said low, but firm. And I really didn't.
I hated when people called me tranny, trans, intersex, any label they threw at me. Call it prejudice, call it fear, judge me if you want, but in that moment everything was opening up too raw. Faggot I knew was an insult even to real crossdressers, and people close to me like Jana I could tolerate when they joked about me having a cock. But big-dicked girl... that cut deep, like it reduced everything I am to just that. I wanted to fuck her, the arousal still burned low in my gut, but not like this. It was too weird and kinda forced.
And that was it.
I went soft.
My cock softened slow, shrinking against my thigh, and the heat rising through my whole body turned into an uncomfortable chill that prickled my skin. I sat there, staring at the scuffed floor, feeling the dress stick to my back.
"Can we do this later?"
She noticed right away that I wasn't okay. Actually, I think she wasn't feeling great either. The air shifted, got heavy, like when two friends kiss out of curiosity and then realize it doesn't click, that the horniness was just the booze and loneliness talking too loud. She came to my side slow, sat next to me on the bed, leaned her shoulder against mine. She didn't say anything at first. Just took a deep breath, ran her hand through my messy hair.
We sat in silence for a while, listening to the light rain starting to patter on the roof, the cold wind sneaking in through the cracked window. I crossed my legs again by instinct, even though there was nothing left to hide. She took my hand, laced her fingers in mine, squeezed lightly.
"It's okay, Rebeca. We don't have to force anything."
I nodded, but didn't look at her. I was still processing what happened, what almost happened, what I wanted and what I was scared to want. The arousal didn't vanish completely, it just hid, went quiet, waiting.
And I knew it would happen, soon.
Not today, not like this. But soon.