Chapter 14

When Jules came out of the bathroom, I bumped into her as I went in, unable to hide my rush. I was bursting, my body still hot, wet, sensitive. She looked at me with a short laugh, almost embarrassed, and headed straight to the bedroom. I left the bathroom door open, like I wanted to show everything was fine, as if I hadn’t just fucked my own sister. But everything wasn’t fine. Nothing was.

I sat on the toilet, trying to control my breathing, fixed my hair with trembling fingers, and let the question hang in the air.

“Irmã… how’d the video turn out?”

A brief silence. Then, the sound of light footsteps in the hallway. She appeared again, poking just her head through the doorframe with the face of someone gauging my reaction.

“I only glanced at it quick… but it didn’t come out good.”

“Can’t we use it? I don’t know, at least some clips?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe. I was thinking of showing it to Patrícia… what do you think?”

My body went cold. The idea of someone seeing that, seeing that, hit me like a shock. I put my hand to my forehead, muffling my voice.

“Oh my God… that kills me with shame.”

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, in her usual impatient way.

“Justy… come on, for God’s sake? You’re getting annoying. I know it’s weird, you know it’s weird, but if you keep repeating it all the time, it turns into hell. It’s done. Stop.”

She looked at me seriously, like she was saying without saying: either we deal with this, or we quit everything. I took a deep breath, my body still kinda shaky, and let it out, trying to sound natural.

“True…” I paused short. “You doing it alone today? I’m gonna see Dad.”

Lie. I didn’t need to see my dad, it wasn’t even visiting day, but I needed to get away from her. Put some distance. I was horny for my sister, and that couldn’t be hidden. And knowing Jules, she’d spend the rest of the day aggressive, needling, throwing shade, until she figured out what she was feeling. And me? I’d take shit all day, pretending everything was fine.

“And another thing… that Vitorino? You talking to him? I just saw it pop up again and he’s got like five messages for you. Think the idiot can tell us apart?”

“He probably can’t, sis,” I replied without even looking. “He’s probably just saying my name ‘cause I was alone on the live.”

She left the bathroom with her eyes glued to the phone, her face still wet, hair stuck to her forehead. And out of nowhere, she went quiet. Completely ignored me. Turned her back and walked away. Just like that.

I stood there for a few seconds, then took a quick shower, just to try to wash her scent off my body. I went to the bedroom wrapped in a towel, grabbed some random clothes, and started changing slowly, without any energy. As I got dressed, I thought about what I’d do out on the street. Saying I was seeing my dad was impulse. It was a lie. I couldn’t even go to the hospital, visits would be over by the time I got there. And if the admin lady saw me, she’d hound me for the bill. Again. If she said the debt had grown, I think I’d lose it right there in the hallway.

It was always like this. Jules wanted to invest, and I carried the weight of the bills. She dreamed of a new camera, LED backdrop, studio mic. I thought about hospital payments, overdue bills, collection calls. The truth was, even with the project so new, it was already bringing in some cash. Nothing huge, but you could see it would grow. Once we started filming videos, sending packs, making real content, it’d get better. But… we didn’t know how. We had no technique, no direction, no confidence.

The idea of having an outsider help bugged me. Patrícia knew her stuff, I couldn’t deny that. She’d been doing OnlyFans for a while, had the setup, had people paying for her. But I didn’t like her. And it wasn’t ‘cause she was a GP, if she even was. It was something else. It felt like being managed. I couldn’t explain it. I just knew it gave me this deep unease, a discomfort that stuck around, even when everything seemed okay.

Dressed now, I grabbed my phone and left the bedroom. Juliette started chattering about some ideas she had for our “work,” but this time I was the one who ignored her. Pretending I didn’t hear was easier than keeping up that weird dance of closeness and silence. I called an Uber to the mall, went down the stairs slowly, and left through the gate with the excuse ready in my head: just gonna check out some clothes, take a walk, kill time. Lie. I just wanted to get away from home a bit. Distance myself from her, from me, from everything.

In the car, with my face against the window and the AC wind chilling my cheek, I opened my contacts list on the phone. Looking for someone. Anyone I could call, who’d come running just to keep me company, grab coffee, chat bullshit. But there was no one like that. The list looked full, but it was all empty. I didn’t have real friends. Never did. I’d always struggled to make friends, and when I tried, it felt too forced. I didn’t know how to be light. Never did.

I thought maybe it’d be nice to have a boyfriend. Someone to hold hands with on a Sunday afternoon. Someone to hug me without asking for nudes after. But all the ones I had kicked me to the curb. Cheated on me. Made me believe it was my fault.

I scrolled my finger slowly until I stopped on his name. Vitorino. I told my sister I hadn’t saved his name, but I had.

He was cute. Had a cute dick, even. And he seemed really interested. But two different people had already warned me about him. “He’s trouble,” they’d say. But no one explained why. They’d just drop the phrase with a warning look and think that was enough.

“But what kind of trouble?” I murmured to myself, in a low voice, not wanting the driver to hear. I sat there, staring at his contact on the phone, the car background blurring past the window, and this strange urge to text him building in my chest. Just so I wouldn’t feel so alone in this huge city.

And instead of texting, I called. Without thinking, without a plan, without knowing what I’d say.

“Hello?” I let out, trying to sound steady.

“Hi, how can I help?” The voice on the other end was male, clear, polite to a fault.

“It’s just… someone gave me this number, and I wanted to know what it’s about…” I already hated the words as they left my mouth.

“What’s your name? And who do you want to speak to?”

“Is this Vitorino’s phone?” I asked, already feeling kinda stupid.

“Uh… my name’s Vitor. If you’re calling me by that name, it’s probably from the internet.”

He laughed. A small, sidelong laugh, but real.

“What’s your name?”

“Justine. But you can call me Justy…” I replied, in a lower, more intimate tone, not knowing why.

“Oh! The girl from the site! Wow, never thought you’d call back.”

The car jerked to a stop, and the driver spoke way too loud, the type with no sense of volume.

“Miss, I’m dropping you here at the back entrance to the mall, ‘cause if I go around, we’ll get stuck in terrible traffic.”

“That’s fine, sir,” I replied politely, trying to hide my annoyance.

But it was too late. That comment of his, said like that, loud, unintentional, thrown into the middle of the call… it changed everything.

“Justine… sorry. Justy. You at the mall?” Vitor’s voice got more excited, closer. “Wow, I live ten minutes from there! Wanna grab a beer?”

I got nervous. Froze for a second. A beer?

“A beer?” I repeated, stuttering. “But I… I don’t even know you.”

“But you saw me on camera, right? So you know me. Come on, let’s go! No funny business, I promise.”

He said it laughing, light, like he really didn’t want to scare me. The “no funny business” part made me smile. It put me a little more at ease, I admit. I thanked the driver and got out of the car with my heart beating faster than it should. I entered the mall almost on autopilot.

“The food court okay?” I asked, already thinking of the busiest spot in the mall, just to be safe.

“I’ll get ready in twenty minutes. Takes another ten to get there…”

“Half hour, then. Sounds good. Text me when you’re on your way.”

I hung up and put the phone in my pocket with my hand still sweating. My sister would kill me if she knew about this.