Chapter 14

The day after that was weird. Tommy spent the whole time on the computer, headphones jammed in his ears, laughing with his buddies over some new game, like nothing had happened. He didn’t bring it up again, and neither did I. But the silence weighed heavy, more than any fight. The house was clean, organized… and for the first time, I wished it was a mess. Just to have something to clean, something to do with my hands, my body — anything to distract my thoughts.

I headed downstairs. There was a little craft fair in the square across from the house. Every Sunday. I never paid much attention, but that day, wandering through printed fabrics, crochet stuff, and the smell of incense was better than staring at the walls. But the idea wouldn’t leave my head. It pounded, throbbed, gnawed at me. I pulled the phone from my jeans pocket and dialed without thinking.

“Manu.”

“Hey, boss. So, did you guys fight bad?”

“Well… no. And that’s what threw me off.”

“Huh. What do you mean?”

“He said he liked the idea, got turned on, jerked off, and even came.”

“What idea?”

“The idea of being a cuck.”

“Hahahahaha! Oh, no way!” Her laugh came out loud, almost offended it was so genuine. “You’re kidding. Now, after it’s over, you find out the guy’s into cuckold fetish? You’re screwed, huh, girl!”

“I’m serious, Manu. I’m so confused. I don’t know what to do with this.”

“Huh, call up a big black guy and make him watch! Solves it quick.”

“Idiot…” I said, laughing, but the laugh came out kinda dirty. I’d liked the idea. It hurt in some good place.

“I’m serious now. You really wanna know what I think?”

“Yeah.”

“If you’re calling me about this, it’s because you liked it. Any other woman would’ve stuck to the plan of disappearing, having a final talk, cutting contact. But you’re there, full of doubt and horny as hell. You want him to watch, right?”

I went quiet. Breath stuck in my throat. A woman was fiddling with jewelry next to me, and the clinking of the metals sounded way too loud.

“I don’t know, Manu… It’s just I never thought about stuff like this. Never imagined I’d catch myself thinking about it with someone who was mine once. It seems like total craziness.”

“So let me rephrase: if it’s craziness, why are you turned on?”

I swallowed hard. The sky was clear, the day nice. And there I was, phone pressed to my ear, legs tingling.

“Who said I’m turned on?”

“Seriously, not even a little? If I fingered that pussy right now, it’d be dry as sand?”

“Okay, a little, but who knows, maybe I’m just sick or something?”

“No, friend. Because you liked the idea of him jerking off to the info you gave him. Simple as that.”

And that, somehow, broke me down.

“Manu, this is so wrong, I honestly don’t know…”

“Wrong why?” she shot back right away, with that sassy voice that always hid something serious underneath. “Wrong is you wanting to vanish with that idea throbbing in your pussy and pretending it’s morals.”

“If you want… I’ll call the guy again. You in?”

“You crazy? What’ll he think of me?”

“He won’t think anything. He’ll know for sure. That you like it. That you come for real. That you’ve already done it once with him, so why not a second round? The guy’s not dumb, but he won’t complain about his luck either.”

“Damn, worst part is… I’d totally hook up with him again… I came like five times…”

“Five?” Manu laughed like she knew a dirty secret. “You really can’t count, huh?”

“Was it more than that?”

“Friend, I lost count. Seriously. You collapsed like a rag doll, passed out, mouth open, legs limp… You fell asleep in a puddle of cum, all sticky, reeking of jizz and pride. You were purring like a cat in heat.”

I went silent. The scene came back in flashes. The texture. The taste. The bone-deep exhaustion.

“That explains why I woke up smelling like that.”

“And the best part…” Manu went on, her voice loaded with satisfaction, “the guy was blown away by you. Said he’d never seen a woman come like that. Thinks he’s a god now. Bet he’s already told three friends he made someone’s ex moan like a porn star.”

“Holy shit…” I whispered, feeling my face heat up.

And there it was again: that unbearable mix of shame and want. That twisted thing rising from my stomach and settling between my legs.

And, to make it worse, it wouldn’t go away.

“Look, he wants your number. Can I give it?”

“I guess so, right?”

I didn’t want to.

“I’ll pass it on… But if you want, I’ll set it up with him. Just handle your side.”

“Girl, you ain’t worth shit, Manu.”

And I hung up.

I turned my attention to the stalls. The smell of fried pastries hit me full force — that mix of old grease and kid-like craving for something hot and crunchy. Eating was the perfect excuse not to think. I ordered a cheese one and a cold glass of fresh sugarcane juice, squeezed right there. I leaned against the stall, chewing slow, watching the world spin at a rhythm that wasn’t mine.

While I bit into the edge of the pastry, the cheese burning the roof of my mouth, the phone buzzed. I grabbed it right away, heart racing.

“Already?” I murmured, looking at the screen. “God… Manu’s fast.”

The number was unfamiliar, no name saved, but something in my gut twisted different. I answered with the napkin still between my fingers.

“Hello.”

“Hey. Sorry to call like this… Manu just gave me your number a bit ago. I insisted.”

“Oh… yeah. No problem. It’s fine.”

“I just called to say… I thought everything was great. And… I got a little worried after.”

His voice was lower than I remembered. Or maybe it was just the contrast to the chaos of the night before. Either way, the way he said “worried” made me bite into the pastry harder, like it was holding something inside me.

“I liked it too. Thanks for calling. I’d never done that before. I felt a little embarrassed after. God, so embarrassing!”

“If it helps… I’d never done it either. I lived every guy’s dream! Especially with two amazing women like you two.”

“Silly…” I let out, laughing lightly. “But what were you worried about? Me?”

“Yeah. That video, photo stuff… I got concerned. Don’t wanna be paranoid, but…”

He was right. We recorded without thinking, in the heat of the moment. He just went along. Just obeyed. Didn’t ask. Didn’t negotiate. Obviously, the weight was hitting him now.

“No, don’t worry. No one’s gonna see it.”

“But who did you send it to? I know it’s awkward to ask, but… I got family, career… you get it?”

“We do too. And we’re women. And I know it was shitty to send it. Sorry.

And about your question… I sent it to my ex-husband.”

“Damn… you’re bad! So it was revenge?”

“Yeah… and no. Hard to explain without too many details.”

“Got it. Wanna grab lunch? You can tell me there.”

“Not hungry. I’m eating a pastry at the little fair in the square… Can’t even think about real food.”

“Alright. Next time. But… forgive me for pushing: what’d your ex do to deserve it?”

“Honestly? Nothing. He kinda… asked for it.”

“Ahhh, that explains it. He likes being a cuck. I get it! Cool… you guys have an open thing.”

“No. That’s the problem. We don’t. Never did. This just… came up… and happened.”

The conversation was starting to slip from the emotional control I was faking. I looked around, the voices, napkins flying in the wind, people laughing loud. I asked him to hold for a sec. I signaled the stall lady, paid quick, thanked her with an automatic smile, and walked to a quieter spot, near some trees, where nosy people couldn’t hear.

“Sorry. I was at a pastry stall, people all around. Can talk now.”

“No, I wasn’t gonna say anything big…”

“Oh no?” I asked, voice still a bit choked from the pastry heat and the confusion.

“It’s just… I dig that more open idea. If you wanna do it again… if he wants to watch… I don’t mind.”

“That was the ‘nothing big’ you were gonna say?” I asked, curious.

On the other end of the line, he laughed. That laugh of someone who knows they said too much and doesn’t regret it one bit.

“Don’t wanna be pushy, okay? Just saying… if you need me, I’m available.”

“Of course you are, smooth talker.”

“But I know you liked it. If you didn’t, you faked it real good.”

“Stop being cocky!”

“Can we meet this week?”

I stopped mid-step, looked up at the sky on instinct, like some cloud would give me the right answer.

“Let me check my schedule Monday and I’ll let you know. Not blowing you off. My week’s usually a mess. Easier for Manu to know my agenda than me.”

“Then I’ll call her now to set a time.”

I let out a real laugh, the kind you can’t hold back even if you try.

“No, no need. Wait till Monday.”

I paused. The wind hit my back. My voice got lower.

“And… one more thing. I’m coming out of a relationship. Things… are still kinda mixed up. Hope you understand.”

“I can understand that, yeah. Don’t worry. I won’t pressure you, okay?”

On the other end, he paused.

“Just a little!”

“Fair enough. Just a little’s okay.”

And I hung up with a smile stuck on my lips and a sweet taste of sugarcane juice mixed with something I didn’t know if it was relief or danger.