Chapter 16

I hated him. Hated him. But I couldn’t deny… there was this affection there, a quiet bond, rooted deep, that stood up to time and all the hurt. He came closer real slow, like it was our first kiss, all hesitant… and brushed my lips with this tender kiss.

But my body… my body had other ideas, didn’t bother treating it like affection. No. What hit my skin was this raw lust, fierce and sudden, catching me off guard, making me shiver deep inside.

Our tongues touched… and right then, everything clicked into place, got wetter, more unavoidable. And deep down, I was fighting myself, cussing myself out, calling myself names… “Holy shit, you’re doing something stupid.” But that’s how it was… there was love. And there was lust. That damn lust.

I started losing my breath as the kiss got more intense, deeper… our tongues dancing in our mouths like a perfect ballet, where the dancers know every inch of the stage… and especially know their partner inside out.

Every suck, every lick, every nibble… all timed just right, in the right spot, with the precision of someone who’s done it a thousand times and still gets surprised. I felt chills ripping through me, like the cool air in the room was whipping my hot, sweaty, surrendered body… and inside, I knew: I was screwed.

I was gripping his cock hard, without even realizing it. God… I loved that cock. A laugh slipped out the corner of my mouth, unbidden, when that thought hit, and he noticed, of course he did.

In the moment, I didn’t even think. It just flashed through my head: “Now… fuck it!”

I dropped down without asking, no fuss, like he was mine — because he was, always had been — and took the head of his cock in my mouth, right there under the covers.

I pulled the first moan out of him when I swallowed it whole in one go, down to the base, then yanked back up hard, in a sharp, quick motion… the sound came out loud, wet, filthy.

His cock was hot… throbbing… alive. The skin so smooth, so sleek, like suede… and I kept running it over my lips, rubbing it lightly, while I drooled more and more, soaking everything, getting ready… like I was lubing up my own craving.

From outside the covers, I heard his voice, low, almost shy, but loaded with intent:

“Can I film this?”

I pulled back the cover over my face, looked up at him, curious, with that half-smile I always flashed when I wanted to tease him.

“We’ve never done this… have we?”

He thought for a sec, scratching his stubbly beard with his thumb.

“No… We talked about it, but… the phone sucked, remember? The pics and videos always came out all dark…”

I laughed, nodding.

“Go ahead… grab my phone, it’s better.”

He stretched over to my side of the bed, picked up the device, unlocked it easy — he always knew the passcode, we never hid shit from each other. He tapped a few buttons, switched to camera, and held the phone pointed at me.

“Ready.”

I went back to work with my mouth, focusing on the head, the way he always loved… and that I’d done a million times before.

As I licked slow, running my tongue over the tip, I thought about us. “How many things did I miss out on doing with him?”, I wondered in the middle of that surrender. He was kinda straight-laced, always had been. Never asked to do anal with me, for instance. Didn’t even seem interested… maybe scared, maybe just not into it.

For him, oral was always just the head — he said if I tried to take it all, he’d get claustrophobic, lose the mood. There was this one time I asked him to choke me and he wouldn’t, got scared.

But… sex with him was always good, I can’t lie. He’s sweet, patient… knows how to wait, cares about making me come, always put himself second just to watch me melt. Sometimes it even pissed me off, ‘cause it felt like he was doing more for me than for himself.

But now… now there was this new thing between us. And this idea — him filming me — hit me in a way I didn’t expect. It lit a fire, this insane urge to show off, let him see, save it, maybe watch it later while jerking off alone, who knows…

“Look at me while you suck me.”

His voice pulled me back, thick and hot.

And I did.

I lifted my face, keeping my mouth open, tongue sliding slow over his tip, eyes locked on his… and behind it all, the camera, capturing everything. He was glued to the screen, a satisfied grin on his lips, sometimes biting them and letting out a “Damn!”

I started putting on a show on purpose.

I licked slow, let the spit drip down the side, made that wet slurping sound he always dug, while I gripped the base firm, squeezing and releasing in time with my mouth.

I went down, kissed the inside of his thigh, traced my tongue along the vein running up the side of his cock, then climbed back up, sucking harder, taking it as deep as he ever let me, until I heard that muffled moan I knew so well.

And in the middle of it all, I turned my face just a bit… and looked at the camera.

I let him film me, showing off right there: on my knees, licking, sucking, playing, putting on a display… loving it.

And in the midst of that automatic pleasure, it hit me… This was the second time I’d done this. Second time I’d asked to be filmed. For someone who never liked this stuff, I was seriously weirding myself out.

But… I was there, sucking him, having fun with it, like there weren’t any problems between us anymore. Like we weren’t breaking up.

I jerked him with gusto, kissed, licked, nibbled… showing off shamelessly, making faces, moaning soft just to tease… until out of nowhere, he tossed the phone aside.

“What? Battery die?”

“No…” He gave that half-smile. “Filmed enough… or it’ll get too long.”

I laughed, biting the corner of my mouth, still with my hand on him.

“Got it… So what do you want now? Gotta be quick… I need sleep, up early tomorrow.”

He went quiet for a second, looking at me… then said:

“Wanna try something different.”

I arched an eyebrow, half-mocking:

“You, Tommy… doing something different… I’m curious.”

He laughed and said it like it was the most obvious thing:

“Let’s put this video on the TV… watch it together… and get ourselves off?”

The idea caught me off guard. It was hot, sure… but for someone in the mood to get fucked, it was kinda like a cold splash.

But whatever… I was open to new kinks. And I wanted to try it.

Seeing myself… sucking Tommy… that could be fun.

“Damn… yeah… Thought you wanted to fuck me.”

“I do… but… wanna watch together?”

I nodded, laughing, half not believing this bold side of him.

“Yeah… put it on the bedroom TV. Don’t wanna go to the living room anymore.”

He grabbed my phone and synced it to the TV.

The second the frozen image popped up, I couldn’t hold it… I burst out laughing.

Everything huge on the screen. My messy hair, that slutty look on my face… and Tommy’s dick looked massive, ridiculous, like it took up half the TV.

“Hit play already, for God’s sake…” I begged, burying my face in the pillow, dying of embarrassment.

“Why?” he asked, laughing, teasing.

“God… so embarrassing…”

Seeing us there… it hit me with this massive awkwardness, a weird heat rising in my chest.

It was like eight minutes of video… eight minutes of me on my knees, blowing him… and it just wouldn’t end.

I glanced sideways, kinda unable to look straight on, half turned on, half ashamed.

There was this weird thrill in watching myself… mouth open, tongue working, eyes closed, breathing heavy… I thought I looked sexy, and at the same time: “God… look at that.”

Tommy, next to me, was already stroking himself slow, chill, like it was the most normal thing ever.

And me… I was wet, of course. Horny, obviously. But… I wasn’t relaxed enough to touch myself in front of him.

A quick, practical thought flashed in my head: “Nah… not gonna rub one out… video ends, he fucks me… we sleep.”

Simple as that.

But… it never was that simple, right?

When the video ended, I let out a sigh, half relieved. I’d liked it, sure… but I was kinda nervous, can’t explain why… I just stayed there, quiet, waiting to see what Tommy had in mind.

He fiddled with the phone, casual, like nothing big was happening.

“Got another little porn… Wanna watch?” he tossed out, like suggesting any old movie.

“Another little porn? Come on, Tommy…” I rolled my eyes, not super into it. Honestly, I didn’t want to see another one, but… I didn’t wanna be the buzzkill ruining the vibe.

He didn’t wait for an answer. Loaded up another video and hit play.

I shifted on the bed, leaning against him, while he got it going.

But… when I looked at the screen…

I recognized myself.

The shock hit hard and fast.

That wasn’t my bedroom.

And that guy… wasn’t Tommy.

It was me.

Fucking another dude.

“Tommy… what the fuck is this?” I blurted, eyes wide, voice cracking a bit, stuck in my throat.

And the blood turned to ice in my veins.