Chapter 1
I come from a big family, huge even. My grandparents had eleven kids, who in turn followed the commandment to multiply to the letter. I can't even count the number of cousins without forgetting someone along the way.
Around my teenage years, my interest in sex was already starting to bud. Boys, girls, they all gave me those butterflies in my stomach. I remember the clumsy cousins, who when they sat down, always let something show. I'd get hypnotized, amazed by what I saw.
I had one cousin who was closer to me, a bit older, a year ahead and already kissed two more boys than I had. She was the one who taught me things, always sharp and uninhibited, while I stayed shy and withdrawn. My body hadn't developed yet; everything about me seemed too small. I harbored a quiet crush on her, but never dared try anything—after all, we were cousins. But the times I saw her changing in front of me, I'd observe every detail of her body.
That night, she came to sleep over at my house like it was routine for us. After I took my shower, it was her turn. When she came back to the room, she was wrapped only in a towel. My body reacted right away, a clear sign that something inside me was already waking up. I hoped she'd drop the towel soon, anxious to see what was underneath. I liked watching her naked body, every curve, every detail. She was distracted sometimes, maybe that's why she didn't notice my fixed stares. I didn't get how she couldn't see it, especially when I'd hold my breath, feeling my face burn red-hot.
I was already in my nightgown, brushing my hair in front of the mirror, when she came out of the bathroom. Like always, she tossed the towel carelessly over the dresser, revealing her tender nudity, but something was different. She seemed to hesitate picking out what to wear, moving with a calculated slowness, like she wanted to drag out that moment.
"Gonna sleep naked, huh?" I teased, trying to hide the tension starting to build, more to lighten the mood than out of real curiosity.
She stopped suddenly, still naked, facing me. With a soft gesture, she cupped her breasts with her hands, tilting her hip provocatively, legs slightly crossed, like every move was carefully thought out.
"You think my body's getting hot?" she asked, her eyes shining with a mix of curiosity and something deeper, like it wanted to be uncovered.
I got super embarrassed by the question. That line gave me permission to look freely, and I did, real slow, checking out every inch of her body.
"Cuz, you're already gorgeous." I remember saying it low, all my strength going into hiding the signs of my arousal. I was soaking wet watching her move around naked and scared she'd notice my nipples perking up.
"Look at my tits, grab 'em! I think they're getting saggy," she said, coming toward me, holding her breasts like weapons, backing me up against the bed. "Squeeze 'em, tell me what you think."
I was stunned, couldn't react. She positioned herself right in front of me, took my hands, and guided them to her breasts. They were round, firm, like gravity hadn't touched them yet. Instinctively, I started caressing them, thumbs circling the nipples almost on autopilot. The touch lasted longer than it should, the situation getting awkward, but I couldn't stop. Her eyes, locked on mine, watched every move, sharp and piercing.
She broke the silence, her voice low and loaded with hesitation she couldn't hide.
"That feels good, huh..."
"Okay, stopping now..." I murmured, trying to pull my hands away, but not really committed, laughing awkwardly.
"You can keep going, if you don't mind..." she said, the uncertainty clear in her voice, like she wasn't sure what she really wanted yet.
Her eyes were half-closed, and she let out soft moans. I wasn't nervous anymore; now I was lost in the caresses, everything flowing automatic, like I'd been born for it. Without asking, I leaned in and brushed my lips softly against her right nipple, hard under my touch. A series of quick kisses that made her moan and pull back a bit, a reflex of surprise. Her eyes went wide, her face showing shock.
For a second, I thought I'd gone too far, maybe pushed it. But to my surprise, she leaned in closer, closing the short distance between us, like she wanted more than what I'd already given. There was a kind of relaxation now, a weird intimate surrender between us two, the first time I tasted and felt a breast in my mouth. I remember it had no real taste, the smooth skin contrasting with the roughness and hardness of the nipples, the scent was just plain bathroom soap, and the skin was warm. I must've stayed like that for minutes, totally lost in it. I felt wet and remember my heart pounding hard every time she moaned low.
In that moment, I knew I needed to stop, but the uncertainty about what came next left me anxious. She was standing there, taking my kisses on her tits. Should I kiss her now? The doubt ate at me.
"Enough!" I said, laughing to cover the nerves, wiping my slobbery mouth with the back of my hand.
"Ooh..." was all she said, embarrassed, pinching her own breasts lightly like she was trying to hold back her nerves too. I waited anxiously for her to say something, anything, but she stayed quiet.
The vibe got weird, tension hanging in the air. She got up, grabbed her clothes with quick moves, not looking right at me. The silence was almost deafening.
"I think I'm gonna crash..." she murmured, barely audible, while slipping into some nightgown. I just nodded, not sure what to say.
We settled into our beds, the room dimmed down. I could hear her breathing, slow, like she was trying to calm her own thoughts. My mind, on the other hand, was spinning. What did all that mean? Had we crossed a line with no going back?
Sleep took forever to come. I lay there, staring at the ceiling, thinking about what happened. The feel of her breasts under my hands, her soft moans, and how she reacted were still fresh in my head. I knew morning would bring questions, maybe even regrets, but for now, all that was left was the uncertainty.
Only time would tell what it meant for us two.