Chapter 1
I come from a big family, huge even. My grandparents had eleven kids, who in turn followed the commandment to multiply to the letter. I can’t even count the number of cousins without forgetting someone along the way.
Around my teenage years, my interest in sex was starting to bud. Boys, girls, they all gave me those butterflies in my stomach. I remember the clumsy cousins who, when they sat down, always let something slip into view. I’d get hypnotized, amazed by what I saw.
I had one cousin who was closer to me, a bit older — she had a year on me and had already kissed two more boys than I had. She was the one who taught me things, always sharp and uninhibited, while I stayed shy and withdrawn. My body hadn’t developed yet; everything about me seemed too small. I harbored a quiet crush on her, but I never dared try anything — after all, we were cousins. But those times I’d see her changing in front of me, I’d take in every detail of her body.
That night, she came over to sleep at my house, like we often did. After I took my shower, it was her turn. When she came back to the room, she was wrapped only in a towel. My body reacted right away, a clear sign that something inside me was waking up. I was hoping she’d drop the towel soon, eager to see what was underneath. I loved watching her naked body, every curve, every detail. She could be absentminded sometimes, maybe that’s why she didn’t notice my fixed stares. I couldn’t understand how she didn’t pick up on it, especially when I’d hold my breath, feeling my face burn red-hot.
I was already in my nightgown, brushing my hair in front of the mirror, when she came out of the bathroom. Like always, she tossed the towel carelessly onto the dresser, revealing her young nudity, but something was different. She seemed to hesitate picking out what to wear, moving with a calculated slowness, like she wanted to drag out that moment.
“Gonna sleep naked, huh?”
I teased, trying to mask the tension starting to build, more to lighten the mood than out of real curiosity.
She stopped suddenly, still naked, facing me. With a soft gesture, she cupped her breasts with her hands, tilting her hip provocatively, legs slightly crossed, like every move was carefully planned.
“You think my body’s getting hot?”
She asked, her eyes sparkling with a mix of curiosity and something deeper, like she wanted it to be uncovered.
I was mortified by the question. It gave me permission to look freely, and I did, taking my time, examining every inch of her body.
“Cuz, you’re already gorgeous.”
I remember saying it softly, mustering all my strength to hide the signs of my arousal. I was soaking wet watching her move around naked and scared she’d notice my nipples perking up.
“Look at my tits, grab ‘em! I think they’re getting saggy,”
She said, coming toward me, holding her breasts like weapons, backing me onto the bed.
“Squeeze ‘em, tell me what you think.”
I was stunned, frozen, unable to react. She positioned herself right in front of me, took my hands, and guided them to her breasts. They were round, firm, like gravity hadn’t touched them yet. Instinctively, I started caressing them, my thumbs circling her nipples almost on autopilot. The touch lasted longer than it should have, the situation turning awkward, but I couldn’t stop. Her eyes, locked on mine, watched every move, sharp and piercing.
She broke the silence, her voice low and laced with hesitation she couldn’t hide.
“That feels good, huh…”
“Alright, stopping now…”
I murmured, trying to pull my hands away but without much conviction, laughing awkwardly.
“Keep going, if you don’t mind…”
She said, uncertainty clear in her voice, like she wasn’t sure what she really wanted.
Her eyes were half-closed, and she let out soft moans. I wasn’t nervous anymore; now I was lost in the caresses, everything flowing automatically, like I’d been born for it. Without asking, I leaned in and brushed my lips softly against her right nipple, hard under my touch. A series of quick kisses that made her moan and pull back a little, a reflex of surprise. Her eyes widened, her face showing shock.
For a second, I thought I’d gone too far, crossed the line. But to my surprise, she leaned in closer, closing the already short distance between us, like she wanted more than what I’d given. There was a certain relaxation now, a strange intimate surrender between us. For the first time, I felt the taste and texture of a breast in my mouth. I remember it had no real taste, her smooth skin contrasting with the roughness and hardness of her nipples, the scent was just regular bathroom soap, and her skin was warm. I must’ve stayed like that for a few minutes, totally lost in it. I felt wet, and I remember my heart pounding hard every time she moaned softly.
In that moment, I knew I needed to stop, but the uncertainty about what came next left me anxious. She was standing there, taking my kisses on her breasts. Should I kiss her now? The doubt consumed me.
“Enough!”
I said, laughing to hide my nerves, wiping the drool from my mouth with the back of my hand.
“Ooh…”
Was all she said, embarrassed, as she lightly pinched her own breasts, like she was trying to hold back her own nerves. I waited anxiously for her to say something, anything, but she stayed silent.
The vibe got weird, tension hanging in the air. She got up, grabbed her clothes with quick movements, avoiding looking at me directly. The silence was almost deafening.
“I think I’m gonna crash…”
She murmured, barely audible, as she slipped into some nightgown. I just nodded, not sure what to say.
We settled into our beds, the room dimmed down. I could hear her breathing, slow, like she was trying to calm her own thoughts. My mind, on the other hand, was spinning. What did it all mean? Had we crossed a line with no going back?
Sleep took forever to come. I lay there, staring at the ceiling, replaying what happened. The feel of her breasts under my hands, her soft moans, and how she reacted were still fresh in my head. I knew morning would bring questions, maybe even regrets, but for now, all that was left was the uncertainty.
Only time would tell what it meant for the two of us.