Chapter 59

She shifted and plopped down on the edge of the bed without a shred of grace, her panties on full display to throw off my focus. I could see her bush right there, sitting plain as day.

“Yeah, but then you were all over me saying you wanted to hook up with me,” I shot back, bitchy, my voice louder than I meant.

“So…” she sighed, legs spread wide and tying her hair back. “The guy lost his shit after that. He nagged me nonstop. Every damn day he wanted me to call you, invite you over for ‘something casual,’ set up another ‘accidental’ meetup. You know?”

“Son of a bitch,” I said, more to back her up than out of anger.

“Yeah. Honestly, I even thought about it.” She leaned toward me, elbows on her knees, face in her hands. “But fuck! You’re my ‘cousin.’ Way too young, my little baby.”

And she chucked a pillow at my face.

“Oh, come on… you always hated me and Mariana!”

“Hated? Nah, crazy. I love you both. It’s just, what are you? Two — almost three — years younger than me. I wanted to date, and you two were always busting my balls.”

Her sitting there with her legs spread at eye level was starting to piss me off; I smacked her thigh.

“Close your legs, girl. Have some manners! I can see your pussy from here.”

Carla flopped back on the bed and gave me a peek at her ass, her panties barely holding in her buns, and her skirt now looking like a belt almost.

“You sound just like my dad, fuck. Stop staring at my pussy, damn it!”

That was one of the reasons the family talked shit about her: Carla had no manners. She’d always had more curves than anyone and was the one who wore the least when she jumped in the pool here at the house. We grew up hearing that around guys — even family — you had to cover up and not lounge around in just a bikini. “Men are wicked,” my mom would say. I never got it much, thought “if they wanna look, let ‘em, fuck it,” but I grew up with that rule and got used to it.

Not Carla. She knew everyone was looking — and worse, she put on a show. Dancing, shaking her ass, playing to the crowd.

“Jujube, you’re such a little dyke, girl,” she let out, laughing, with a sly edge that was a trap.

“You’re one too, and I know it,” I fired back, ‘cause, yeah… we’d already hooked up.

She shot a quick glance at the door, like she was plotting a coup.

“And come on… you and Mariana? You two hook up?”

The question hit me like a punch to the gut. She’s no dummy — either she figured it out, or someone spilled. I couldn’t rat out Mariana, and with that bitch Carla, I didn’t trust her a hundred percent. I lied, badly, but tried.

“No… Mariana’s straight, come on. She’s got a boyfriend and everything!”

“Where’s Mariana got a boyfriend that nobody knows about, Jujube? Go lie to someone else!”

I was cornered and went on the attack.

“And you? You really go all the way with girls?”

“I do, but I prefer guys. I miss cock so much!” She burst out laughing, finally straightening her skirt.

“And your boyfriend? He doesn’t mind?”

“Not a fucking bit. His golden dream is to bring a friend along.” She made a naughty face, hinting at why. “Get it?”

“Yeah… and that almost ended up being me,” I laughed, nervous.

“But kinda was, right, Jujube…” She smiled, her laugh turning curious. “You were really a virgin? Never done anything?”

“Nothing. Zilch. Pure and untouched.”

“Damn, girl… so I ruined you.” She got serious, looking at me. “Sorry, cousin. I should’ve gotten you out of there. Sometimes I feel guilty.”

“Don’t, cousin. After that, a lot happened. It’s not even that big a deal anymore.”

Saying that was cathartic — new word I picked up online, but that’s exactly it. Speaking it out loud gave me a click: I understood myself better, accepted my story more, and saw myself closer to the woman I wanna be.

The question hit me like a punch to the gut. She’s no dummy — either she figured it out, or someone spilled. I couldn’t rat out Mariana, and with that bitch Carla, I didn’t trust her a hundred percent. I lied, badly, but tried.

“No… Mariana’s straight, come on. She’s got a boyfriend and everything!”

“Where’s Mariana got a boyfriend that nobody knows about, Jujube? Go lie to someone else!”

I was cornered and went on the attack.

“And you? You really go all the way with girls?”

“I do, but I prefer guys. I miss cock so much!” She burst out laughing, finally straightening her skirt.

“And your boyfriend? He doesn’t mind?”

“Not a fucking bit. His golden dream is to bring a friend along.” She made a naughty face, hinting at why. “Get it?”

“Yeah… and that almost ended up being me,” I laughed, nervous.

“But kinda was, right, Jujube…” She smiled, her laugh turning curious. “You were really a virgin? Never done anything?”

“Nothing. Zilch. Pure and untouched.”

“Damn, girl… so I ruined you.” She got serious, looking at me. “Sorry, cousin. I should’ve gotten you out of there. Sometimes I feel guilty.”

“Don’t, cousin. After that, a lot happened. It’s not even that big a deal anymore.”

Saying that was cathartic — new word I picked up online, but that’s exactly it. Speaking it out loud gave me a click: I understood myself better, accepted my story more, and saw myself closer to the woman I wanna be.

“So you’re saying Miss Julia’s the newest little slut in the family?” she said in a teasing tone, more affectionate than offensive.

“Looks like it, huh? I stole your spot!”

I laughed to myself and she got serious all of a sudden. Looked at the door, thought, then back to me.

“But I’d totally hook up with you, cousin.”

Fuck. That pierced right through me. I always thought it was just messing around, dumb bullying to make me blush. But now she was right there, looking into me, saying that shit to my face.

I got hot, flushed, not knowing where to put my hands.

“Whoa, girrrl…” I laughed, totally awkward.

Carla stood up, went straight to my closet and yanked the door open like she owned the place better than I did.

“What do you want in my closet, crazy? ” I said, indignant at her nerve.

“Wet wipes.” She was already digging through my makeup, messing with my stuff without a care. “Found ‘em.”

She grabbed a wipe, turned sideways to the mirror and started rubbing her mouth, carefully wiping off the lipstick.

“Why are you taking off your lipstick?” I asked, curious.

“Because it smears a lot.”

“Okay, I know it smears… but you already have it on. Fix it if it smears. And it wasn’t even smudged.”

She leaned closer to the mirror, focused on erasing the dark red.

“But it’s gonna smear.”

I didn’t get it until she finished, folded the wipe and tossed it in the trash. Then she headed to the door, turned the key, checked it twice to make sure it was locked, and came toward me. Sat on my lap without asking, her warm weight, that sweet scent in my face.

I froze solid.

“I don’t want you all smeared with my lipstick when your mom gets here, Jujube.”

She said it low, her mouth almost brushing mine. My skin prickled all over. Her hands came to my face, light, and for a second I only heard my own breath, caught, ragged. The tip of her nose grazed mine. The room shrank. And before I could think of anything, Carla smiled that way that always undid me and whispered:

“You gotta be smart, cousin.”

And she kissed me.

Carla’s kiss had personality, grip. It was firm, hot, right on target, the kind that takes over space and grabs you deep inside. The weight of her body on my lap lit me up: her thighs squeezing my sides, her hips locked against mine, the heat seeping through the thin fabric of my clothes. Her belly pressed to mine, her chest brushing my chin, and I caught the scent of her skin — some fancy lotion from a magazine I knew and liked, mixed with a hint of sweet perfume. She was dominating up there, and that’s exactly how it felt: I wasn’t “exchanging” kisses, I was being kissed, led, following the rhythm she set.

Carla’s mouth was soft and determined. First she pressed her lips, testing, then caught my bottom lip between her teeth, a light bite that pulled a sound from me. Her tongue followed, slow, asking entry and taking it, tracing my teeth, mapping my mouth from the inside like learning a chart. She switched between pressure and sweetness: sucking, nibbling, pulling back a millimeter then diving in hungrier, always in control, and I was melting under her lead, hands lost not knowing where to hold, letting the kiss break me down completely.

It hadn’t even been thirty seconds of kissing and my panties were soaked through, my mind slipping away.