Chapter 4

When I finished getting ready, my phone buzzed with a notification: a car would pick me up in twenty minutes. I was already set. Not knowing exactly what to expect, I went with a floral dress that seemed casual but put-together. I left my hair down and did light makeup. I grabbed a little jacket for the chill and, in my bag, I discreetly tossed in some condoms — I figured it was smart to have them on hand.

Down in the lobby, a car was waiting for me. It was an imported ride, way too fancy for my world. Standing next to it, a uniformed driver gave me a kind smile.

“Dona Luana?” he asked, politely.

“Hey, that’s me!”

“I’m here to pick you up, ma’am.”

I slid into the car, a mix of curiosity and unease churning inside me. As he drove, he tried to make small talk, keeping things polite. But in my head, a avalanche of thoughts was crushing me. How many women had he picked up for his “boss” before? A heavy shame settled over me, like I was totally exposed and filthy.

I stared out the window, trying to cling to any reason that justified my choice. I mentally listed all the things I could buy with the money I’d get. I’d even crunched the numbers on how many gigs it would take to hit my goals. The amount he was paying was huge, almost unreal. Two meetups would cover a whole month’s rent, way more than what I’d seen online from gorgeous women — way more than I figured I was worth.

We pulled up to a luxury condo in an upscale neighborhood. The houses were stunning, with sky-high ceilings and most of them three stories tall. The car eased to a stop in front of an imposing residence. There was a sleek driveway where we parked, and the main entrance almost intimidated me.

I looked around, awestruck and out of place, like an outsider who didn’t belong in that world. Everything was grand, gleaming, overflowing with sophistication. Marble and fine wood made up the scene, a perfect balance of classic and modern.

My heart was racing. That place summed up what money could buy. And that man, with all his power and wealth, was buying not just my body, but a piece of my dignity. Driven by desperation, I pretended to be okay with it.

“Ma’am, this way,” the driver’s voice snapped me out of my daze.

I followed him inside the house, which was even more impressive than the outside. Soft lighting created a cozy vibe, but it was a little intimidating because of how grand it all was. It seemed like every detail had been carefully planned to impress. And there I was, walking into a reality I wasn’t sure I had the strength to face.

In that massive living room, I sat on the couch in the first area. The driver gestured for me to wait and vanished through one of the many doors. The silence that followed was almost tangible, broken only by the faint thump of my pounding heart.

The wait didn’t last more than a few minutes, but it felt like forever. Suddenly, a smooth, melodic voice echoed from somewhere above me.

“Luana? You okay?”

I looked up, searching for where the voice was coming from. It was him. That gorgeous man was standing on a walkway on the upper floor. He was dressed in business clothes, like he’d just gotten back from work. His tie was loose around his neck, and his shirt sleeves were rolled up, giving him a casually elegant look. In one hand, he held a glass with some kind of drink.

In that moment, I froze. My whole body was shaking, and a question echoed in my mind: Do I have to play the sexy vixen? My face must’ve shown some poorly hidden pain, while my hands sweated so much they felt slick.

“Come up here, please.”

His firm voice sounded like a command, the first of many, I imagined.

I stood up, trying to force some naturalness into my movements. As I climbed the stairs, I felt the weight of his gaze, like he was sizing up every inch of me. Each step felt like an eternity, a test I wasn’t ready for.

I avoided looking at him, keeping my eyes on the floor. When I finally reached the second floor, he approached calmly, like he had all the time in the world. His presence was so commanding that the air around me felt heavy.

“Welcome, Luana.”

He extended his hand to greet me. I felt my voice catch in my throat as our eyes finally met. I knew that moment marked the start of something that would change my life completely.

He lightly touched my chin, like he was appraising a purchase. Maybe it was just a gentle gesture, but in that moment, the tension made me see it differently. My heart was pounding, and the urge to bolt was almost overwhelming.

“Come in here, let’s talk a bit.”

His voice cut through the silence, firm but not harsh. I just followed, without arguing.

He opened a nearby door, and we entered an office. The room was lined with shelves full of hardcover books, and the scent of fine tobacco hung in the air, giving the place a stern vibe. He pointed to a leather armchair, and I sat down, nervous, trying to act calm.

“I’ll get straight to the point. Do you know what I want from you?”

He fired off the question without beating around the bush, in a serious tone that somehow made him even more captivating. The answer seemed obvious, but putting it into words felt impossible. I knew I’d been hired for sexual favors, but I was afraid to say something that sounded crude or out of line, on top of the shame choking me.

“Sex.”

The word came out stuttered, barely audible, in a low, unsure tone.

He raised an eyebrow, leaning forward slightly, like he wanted me to think it over more.

“I could pay anyone I want to service me like that. Are you sure that’s what I want?”

His voice had an enigmatic edge, making the conversation even more unsettling.

My mind knotted up. For a brief second, I thought maybe he was hiring me for something totally different, something more real, more honest. A spark of hope lit up, only to be snuffed out by the overwhelming shame of possibly misreading everything.

“I have no idea.”

I murmured, my voice almost fading away.

Deep down, I’d rather die than face the reality I’d feared from the start. The idea of being there, reduced to my most humiliating choice, made my mind wrestle between wounded pride and resignation.

“I want your total obedience.”

He didn’t smile this time.

“You’ll just say ‘yes’ to everything I order.”

The room seemed to close in around me. My fate was already sealed.

“I want your total obedience. You’ll only say ‘yes’ to everything I order. If I ever ask something you don’t like, just say: ‘No, but I’d be happy to fulfill your desires, my lord.’ And when you don’t want to obey me anymore, stand up quietly and leave. There’ll always be a car at the door to take you wherever you want. Do you have any questions, Luana?”

“Lots, but I don’t know where to start,” my voice came out firmer than I expected. And deep down, a spark of defiance started to flicker. “I don’t get it. You want me to do whatever you say, but what kind of things would those be?” By the end of the sentence, my face was burning with shame.

He looked at me calmly, his expression unreadable.

“Are you a prostitute?” he asked serenely, like he already knew the answer.

“Of course not!” I replied, almost offended, even though I knew, technically, I was now.

“You’ll find out as I wish,” he said simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Can we start?”

“That’s fine with me…” I murmured. The words came out weak, almost inaudible.

He cut me off, firmly:

“No. From now on, you’ll respond: ‘Yes, sir.’ In whatever way you want.”

I swallowed hard, feeling the weight of his words. I’d agreed to be there, sold my body, and now there was no turning back.

“Yes, my lord, in whatever way you want.”

“Come to me, strip completely, and keep your eyes down.”

The order hit me like a shock. I knew he expected something from me, but in my mind, I’d fantasized about some kind of gentleness, some affection to make it bearable. But there, faced with such a raw demand, I felt exposed, vulnerable. I instinctively glanced at the door, considering escape.

His steady gaze didn’t waver, cold and analytical. He showed no hurry or impatience, but offered no comfort either. Even clothed, I already felt totally naked before him. My whole body trembled, and without realizing, I bit my lip to hold back the tears threatening to spill.

As the seconds dragged on, the weight of my choice felt heavier. I took a deep breath, trying to muster courage, and started. First, I slipped the straps of the dress off my shoulders, feeling the fabric slide down my body. With hesitant movements, I twisted to loosen the zipper and let it fall to my feet. I bent down to pick it up, folding it carefully before placing it on the nearby armchair.

I still had my panties and sandals left. He didn’t look away, but seemed not to notice my exposed breasts. I sat to unbuckle the sandals and take them off, then slid the cotton panties down my body until they hit the floor too.

Now, I was completely naked, standing before him. My hands instinctively covered parts of my body, trying to hold onto what dignity I had left. Forcing a smile, I tried to seem confident, but what came out was a weak, awkward laugh.

He kept watching me, impassive, like he was still waiting for something.

“You’ve got a lot to learn. First: never look me in the eyes unless I order it. Second: never cover yourself. I expect your servitude to become natural for you.”

His words, firm and cold, echoed inside me. I felt, more than ever, the weight of what I’d agreed to. I didn’t know how to react and just stood there, frozen, facing the vastness of what awaited me. My hands shook, and the need to look away from his eyes became almost unbearable. A deep feeling of vulnerability and loneliness washed over me, something I’d never experienced. I felt ashamed, like I was filthy, though I didn’t know how to deal with it.

With my eyes down, I couldn’t see his expression, but the details around me were clear: his expensive shoes, the impeccable hem of his pants. The chill made me aware, in every exposed part of my body, of how raw the situation was. My skin was prickling, and my arms trembled, trying unsuccessfully to stay at my sides.

“You have a beautiful body. With it, you’ll learn to entertain me. But first, you need to understand the true beauty it holds.”

I could barely hear his words, my thoughts in a whirlwind. I wanted to know why he didn’t just take me and send me away. For God’s sake, man! Just fuck me and let me go! And at the same time, something in my emotions, a silent ache, made tears stream from my eyes.

My mind drifted away for a moment, and I remembered a little poem I’d written as a teen, for an unrequited love:

Ah! Little blue butterfly,
That flutters wings inside me,
When I see you, a shy flight, so pure and subtle,
In the sky of the womb, unable to hold back.
Colors dance at your gaze,
Little butterfly, won’t stop,
Even silly, it holds within,
The sweet tickle that makes me love.

From that sweet place, in a corner of my thoughts, I was pulled back into the cold shadows of that room. He was calling my name.

“Luana? Luana! Are you okay?”

“Yes, my lord!” I tried to respond with the most submissive voice I could.

“Follow me!” he ordered, turning his back to me and ignoring any chance for me to argue or do anything else.

Where was he taking me now? God, give me strength! Why can’t I just leave? The light, salty touch of tears on my lips mixed with stifled sobs; I didn’t want to cry, I wanted to seem strong.

I forced myself to be strong in shaky steps and followed him, unable to lift my gaze. Not because of his command, but because of the shame.