Chapter 6

Since he’d last spoken, time had stretched into infinity. The silence was total, deadly, filling every corner of the room. I only knew he was still there because I could see his feet in the shadows. My arms ached, and my hands were numb from being raised for so long. The discomfort was growing unbearable. On top of that, I had to pee. Badly. My bladder throbbed, demanding relief.

“Is there a break in this game for a piss?” I thought, the anxiety adding extra weight to my already tense body.

“My lord…” I murmured, hesitant, terrified he’d end it all right there if I said something wrong.

I waited. I didn’t finish the sentence, holding out for his permission.

“Speak, Luana.”

His voice sliced through the silence like a whip.

“I… I need to pee. I’m bursting.”

There was no response. Just slow footsteps echoing on the wooden floor. Each one sounded louder in the middle of that crushing quiet. He approached, and when he stopped, it was too close. Way too close for what I was ready to handle. The woody scent of his skin and the heat of his presence wrapped around me, invading my space, deepening the vulnerability of my soul even more. My body stiffened right away. I, who had found a sliver of relaxation for a brief moment, was gripped by nerves again.

The pressure in my bladder ramped up, and without realizing it, I clenched inside in a desperate attempt to hold it.

“Then do it.”

Those two words hit me like a rock, crushing me from the inside.

“Lord…?” My voice came out shaky, almost breathless, unable to believe what he was saying.

“Luana, look me in the eyes…”

He locked his gaze on mine.

“Do it now.”

Fear consumed me whole. The relief I’d hoped for didn’t come — instead, a knot tightened in my stomach, and my bladder felt even more locked down by the terror running through my veins. I wanted to let go, wanted to just obey, but my body refused to give in.

A nervous laugh threatened to escape, shaky, desperate. I clamped my jaw, trying to stifle any sound, but all I managed was a weak whimper. My face burned with shame, and before I could stop it, a single tear slid down my cheek. This was too humiliating.

“Okay, girl, think… it’s just a fetish, right? Just piss. You’ve pissed yourself drunk at Mardi Gras, remember? Is this any different? Yeah, of course it is. But you gotta let this shit out before it gets worse.”

My head was waging a war between terror and need. I forced a scrap of courage, ordered my body to relax. And finally, I did it.

A timid trickle escaped from inside me, hesitant, like my own body was refusing to accept what was happening. The stream hit resistance from how my legs were positioned, spreading aimlessly, seeking a path between my thighs. I let it flow, without pushing, without rushing, but every second felt like forever.

His silence was absolute. He didn’t look away.

His eyes were fixed on mine, scrutinizing every detail, like he was measuring each microexpression, each involuntary twitch. I wanted to turn my face away, wanted to vanish. But his gaze held me in place, trapped as much as those chains above my head.

The smell started to rise. Reality slammed into me overwhelmingly. A knot tightened in my throat, and disgust hit like a wave, along with a slight nausea.

“Lie down where you are.”

My expression was pure shock. My body didn’t react, my mind didn’t process. I stayed frozen. There was no thought, just a suffocating void.

“Luana, this is your training.” His voice cut the silence like a cold blade. “You’ll have to learn that your body no longer belongs to you. Your will is only my will. On your face, there should be no fear. No reluctance.”

A shiver ran up my spine.

“Yes… as you wish, my lord.”

And then, I lay down. I obeyed without thinking.

The stage was smaller than me, and soon my naked body was resting on the remnants of my own shame. The warm liquid soaked my skin, my hair, my dignity. Revulsion grew in my throat, a silent nausea I had to swallow.

“What a little thing, what a little thing, what are you?
You’re nothing, you’re nothing, who are you?”

The children’s rhyme came like a distant whisper, echoing in my mind like cruel irony.

“I’m a little star shining in the sky,
A butterfly with wings of honey…”

The wetness clung to me, revolting me. I wanted to curl up, hide inside myself.

“I jump, I dance, I throw a party,
I’m the darling of my little house!”

My chest heaved in silence, my eyes burned, but I wouldn’t cry. I couldn’t cry.

“I’m mommy’s baby, daddy’s baby,
Grandpa’s sweetheart, grandma’s sweetheart…”

I wanted to disappear.

“Free laughter, tight hugs,
Everybody’s enchanted!”

But there was no one enchanted here. Just him, watching me. Just me, lost in what was left of myself.

Maybe it was time to quit.

But… if I just did one more day, only one more, I’d pay a full month’s rent.

Just this one and one more.

I had to endure.