Chapter 1

Here starts our brand-new little novel, it’s all just silly stuff straight from my head and I can’t promise it’ll go anywhere, but let’s try to have some fun while it’s rolling? Come along and enjoy!

“Hey, Roberta! You awake?”

The familiar voice echoed in my head, yanking me out of deep sleep. I rolled my eyes, still buried in the pillow.

“Damn it, Valentina, let me sleep…”

“So… there’s some drool down here and the color’s kinda weird. Was that guy healthy?”

I cracked one eye open and huffed.

“For God’s sake, go to sleep!”

“I can’t! It’s itching! Scratch me real quick…”

Jesus… I squeezed my thighs together, trying to ignore her.

“No, I’m not in the mood to touch myself right now! Figure it out!”

I dragged myself out of bed, feeling my panties sticking to my skin. Great. I checked right there in a hurry — yeah, Valentina was right. I was all slick with this milky discharge that was a bit darkened. But nothing alarming, it always happened before my period. I just needed to wash it off before it dried and started itching for real.

Having a pussy is work enough. Now imagine when yours talks!

What? Yeah, me and my pussy chat. Since when? Hell if I know, ever since the hormones started raging in puberty. But that doesn’t matter much. What matters is that Valentina is chatty. And a total pain in the ass.

Yours doesn’t talk? Poor you. Must suck to be alone… though I gotta admit, sometimes she overdoes it.

I woke up for work and, like always, the morning quiet didn’t last a second.

“Hurry up, I gotta pee! If you take too long, I’m gonna soak the panties.”

I sighed and got up.

“You always soak the panties, just don’t piss yourself, please.”

“Huh, then do those exercises to make me all toned up. You seen how floppy I’m getting?”

I rolled my eyes while pulling down my panties.

“God…”

“Sit on the toilet, sit… Ahhhhh… Feels so damn good, peeing is the best, right?”

“Yeah it is…” I replied, on autopilot.

“But hey, morning jerk-off? You in?”

“No, I gotta get ready, wash my hair…”

She let out an impatient huff.

“Speaking of hair, don’t take this the wrong way, but mine’s starting to creep into my mouth already.”

I held my forehead with one hand.

“I’m not even using you for anything right now…”

“But do you have to leave me looking like the bearded lady at the circus?”

I closed my eyes, already out of patience.

“Now even you’re gonna nag me? You’re so damn demanding, you know that?”

“I know, your mom said you gotta keep me nice and clean.”

“I know that, and I do.”

I took my usual shower. It was hair-washing day, which meant a longer one. But of course she wouldn’t leave me alone with my thoughts.

“You didn’t wash your ass right.”

I rolled my eyes and kept scrubbing my scalp.

“I did. And I didn’t even shit, shut up, it’s clean.”

“Whenever you’re about to get your period, you get backed up. You gotta deal with that. Sit down and try to poop. Come on.”

I sighed. Unfortunately, she was right. An annoying truth, but real. I turned off the shower and sat on the toilet, waiting for the miracle. Ten minutes passed and all I managed was two sad little pellets.

“I need to drink more water and grab some yogurt…”

“What worries me is how you’re gonna wipe your ass. From here on out, please don’t drag shit on me, pretty please!”

I laughed, grabbing the toilet paper.

“You don’t want me to swipe some brown lipstick on you?”

“Gross, Roberta! Showerhead for God’s sake.”

“You and the showerhead!”

Still laughing, I finished cleaning up and got on with my day. In the bedroom, I started rummaging through drawers for something to wear. I laid out the pieces on the bed, eyeing the combos. A tighter underwire bra was perfect for me. The panties, though, needed to be comfy, but with the outfit I picked, a higher-cut one was necessary or it’d show.

I grabbed one and was about to slip it on when I heard the protest.

“Not that one, Roberta, please…”

I stopped, holding the panties.

“But why? I look so good in it.”

“You like sleeping in a hammock with your legs, arms, and head dangling out?”

I frowned.

“No, why?”

“Then why do I have to have this flap hanging there? That thing digs into me, feels like it’s trying to fuck me… and we’re about to get our period, don’t forget.”

I held back a laugh, already picturing the discomfort of listening to Valentina bitch all day in my ear — or better, between my legs.

“You buy panties and forget you got this giant talking pussy!”

I huffed, grabbing another pair from the drawer.

“True… Everyone teases me because of you.”

“Big mouth!” she laughed. “But the guys like it.”

I crossed my arms.

“Can’t deny that.”

“I think I’m gonna start with a pad already.”

“Not the internal one, right?”

“What’s wrong with the internal now?”

She sighed deeply, already impatient.

“That shit swells up inside me, bugs me, feels like there’s a lump. Like when you shit and half stays in your ass.”

I threw my head back and cracked up.

“Plus, that string dangles in my mouth and annoys me. And you’re a slob, you pee and don’t change it. You gotta swap it after peeing, damn it!”

“Sweetie, sorry, but sometimes it just ain’t happening, right?”

“Then put a cute little pad with that aloe vera scent!”

“Panty liner. I’m not wasting tampons for nothing, they’re expensive.”

“Cheapskate!”

I rolled my eyes, finished getting dressed, and went about my day, already knowing it was gonna be another long one with my dear and unbearable Valentina… about to bleed. Usually she didn’t talk much, but when she started, it was trouble.

I grabbed my helmet, headed down to the parking lot, and fired up the bike. The engine roar filled the space as I planted my feet and got ready to roll.

“If you’re gonna wheelie, sit back further!”

I let out a sigh.

“Seriously, you liking the vibration? You got no self-control.”

I shifted on the seat, feeling the engine rumble under me.

“I knew it… feels good, huh? Ever thought about sticking something inside me and riding around on the bike?”

I laughed, shaking my head.

“It’d be hilarious if I crashed from cumming on the bike and the paramedics found a vibrator in you.”

Valentina cracked up.

“Picture the headline: ‘Woman loses control of bike and discovers unexpected pleasure in the ER’.”

I revved the bike, still laughing. The day was just starting, and I already knew it’d be a long haul with this mouth between my legs not giving me a moment’s peace.

At work, Valentina was surprisingly quiet that morning. A real miracle. But like all good things, it didn’t last — soon as my boss showed up, the peace was gone.

He was hot. The kind that oozes testosterone just walking. And the smell? God, real man scent, the kind that sticks to your skin and makes you wanna rub up on it till you’re soaked in it. Just seeing him talk to me, my mind wandered, picturing him slamming me against the desk, fucking me and marking me with that addictive cologne.

“Holy shit, I’m drooling, it’s getting hot down here… Girl, help me out!”

I sighed quietly, pretending to focus on what he was saying.

“Sometimes I wish you didn’t exist…” I muttered, trying to keep my cool.

“The panties are tickling me, Roberta…”

I took a deep breath.

“I want the other ones. If I had those now, something’d be pressing on you and you’d be happier.”

“Let’s hit the bathroom quick?”

“I’m not touching you now!”

“Look how sensitive I am… Your nose is wired to me, you know? What goes in up there comes out down here.”

I had to stifle a laugh, focusing on the chat with my boss and ignoring the alarm siren my pussy had become between my legs.

He gave me the morning tasks and left, leaving behind the sight of that amazing ass. I sighed quietly, watching him go.

“Oh girl… let’s hit the bathroom just a bit…” Valentina moaned softly.

“Dude, I can’t. They’re already side-eyeing me for spending half an hour in the bathroom almost every day. If someone peeks over the stall and catches me stroking you, I’m screwed.”

“Screwed is what I wanna be…” She sighed dramatically. “Look at your tits, how they are!”

I brushed my hand lightly over my breasts.

“They’re sensitive…”

“Mmm… and you still say you don’t wanna go to the bathroom…”

I huffed, trying to ignore her, but something bugged me. I needed to check if my period had started. I grabbed my bag and headed to the bathroom, listening to my pussy.

I barely stepped in and realized I wasn’t alone.

“Hey, friend, how you holding up?” a coworker, touching up her lipstick in the mirror, smiled at me.

“I’m about to get my period, other than that…”

“Thank God, right? Celebrating 12/12 at year’s end!”

I laughed and headed straight for a stall. Standing up, I pulled down my pants to check the situation.

“Is it blood, Roberta?” Valentina cut in, impatient.

“No…”

“You got no cramps, friend? Call in sick,” her voice came from outside.

“Barely any. Just thighs and tits aching. My mood swings sometimes, and after it passes, I’m just wiped out.”

“With a backed-up ass too.” Valentina butted in out of nowhere.

I rolled my eyes, ducking my head.

“I’m not saying I got constipation.”

“But say I’m bleeding! I don’t get your logic.”

“Shut up!” I muttered, trying to shut down the topic before my coworker dug deeper.

“So, friend, it come down yet or just giving notice?” she teased.

“Not yet, but close.”

“You want a massage?” Valentina tried to grab my attention again.

“Now? Hell no.”

She chuckled low.

“If it’s with a happy ending, I’m down.”

“Kiss kiss, friend! Lunch together today?”

“Yeah, at Salads, cool?”

“Deal.”

My friend said bye and left the bathroom. I waited for the door to fully close, heard the lock click, and double-checked it. All good. Now we could.

I ran my hand over her slowly, feeling the throbbing heat between my legs.

“Mmm…” Valentina moaned in that naughty tone of hers.

“Good, huh? You’re sensitive…”

“Yeah, but spit a little. The oil factory might be contaminated and you don’t wanna get your fingers messy.”

I rolled my eyes but did it. I spit discreetly on my fingers and went back to her.

“Get your hand off my flap, Roberta! We ain’t got time for that. Go straight to the clit…”

“Like this?”

I started rubbing, trying to find the right rhythm. I needed to relax to make it quick. I closed my eyes, letting my mind drift back to that guy’s scent. That damn cologne, the deep voice, those strong hands…

“You little bitch, is my clit there?! Feels like a guy’s, don’t you got a pussy? Higher up!”

I breathed deep and adjusted, sliding my fingers a bit more. The second I hit my clit, a jolt shot through me. I had to bite my lip to keep from moaning loud enough to echo through the bathroom.

“Yeah, but higher, damn it… My clit’s sensitive. If you keep at it there, you’ll stay on the edge forever and won’t cum.”

I focused, tweaking the touch to match her demands. Valentina could be a pain, but if anyone knew exactly what she liked, it was her.

“Come on, DJ, remix this for me, go…”

“Shut up, fuck, just cum already.”

“Shove two fingers in mommy here, go on?”

“You said not to.”

“Now I want it, scratch that clit from the inside. You bring wet wipes?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Rub me with it, I like that…”

“No, I want fingers. Focus, come on…”

I closed my eyes, zeroing in on the touch, the shivers, the building pleasure. Valentina was picky, but deep down, she just wanted the same as me: to cum!

My fingers slid in the right groove, pressing, teasing her growing sensitivity. My body shivered with every spot-on stroke, and Valentina clenched in delight, drooling.

“Oh fuck, right there… Yeah, yeah…” she moaned in my head, getting more urgent.

My legs started shaking, breath speeding up, and I knew I was close. Valentina wouldn’t shut up for a second.

“Now go faster, fuck, finish the job!” she demanded.

The wave of pleasure hit all at once, my body arched, and I bit my lips to stifle any sound that might bounce around the bathroom. The strong pulsing took over, and for a few seconds, everything went quiet except my panting breaths.

“Ahhh… that’s how it’s done, Roberta… now we can get back to work.” Valentina sighed, content.

“Satisfied?”

“Yeah, a massage first thing always puts me in a good mood, the shit is I’ll be drooling for half an hour and with how bloated your belly is, I’ll bleed today till you drop dead.”

“My friend’s sick day idea was solid… I’d be stroking you all day at home.”

Still dizzy, I ignored her, grabbed the paper to clean up, trying to catch my breath.

I checked myself in the mirror leaving the stall and chuckled softly. Yeah, definitely, living with a talking pussy was hell… but a damn good hell.