Chapter 15

We spent the day in bed, lounging around with no rush for anything, in a lazy cycle of teasing, laughs, and boners. John with his laptop on his lap, buried in his conspiracy theories, and me watching random videos on TikTok, from dance challenges to influencers gossiping about drama that didn’t even matter to me that much. We’d pause, tangle up, do something naughty, and go back to our distractions. Deep down, it hadn’t changed that much since we were just friends. Except for the boner part, anyway.

The best thing was that we liked discovering stuff together. Everything was new, and that made it all feel even better. With John, it was perfect because we were on the same level of experience: zero, that is. No one judged anyone; we just kept trying things out and figuring out what we liked.

“Johnny, we should look up some new stuff to try, huh.”

He looked at me over the top of his laptop screen, suspicious.

“Last time we tried new things, it went to shit, Vee.”

I laughed. He had a point.

Still, we started researching fetishes. What was supposed to be an educational search quickly turned into a list of unimaginable weirdness. One thing stranger than the next. John read some stuff out loud, and we’d comment on it.

“Check this out, cock fetish. But that’s not a fetish; the person just likes cock, duh.” I said, indignant.

And we started a random debate about the etymology and true meaning of the word “fetish.” John tried to argue with his own kind of logic, but I wasn’t letting him off easy.

In the middle of the argument, he opened a site and his eyes went wide.

“Look at this site, Vee.”

“Let me see…” I leaned closer.

It was a huge questionnaire, fifty questions that each of us answered separately, then it crossed the info to find compatibilities between the couple. Basically, a weirdness app that pointed out the match of our shared kinks. There were three response options for each question: Yes, No, and Maybe.

The questions were a bizarre mix of extreme gross and cute romantic. From “would you be down to shit on the other?” to “hold hands on a walk in the park.” A total freakout of possibilities. I finished mine quick, but John, of course, got stuck on a bunch of questions. He was like that, analyzing everything like it was a logic puzzle.

“Just answer something, dude! Put ‘maybe’!” I begged.

“But it depends; it doesn’t explain the point. It’s too broad.”

“John, it’s just a game, for God’s sake! Answer already!”

After an hour (yeah, a full hour!), he finished. Finally, we checked the results.

Exhibitionism: It’s a possibility.
Threesome: Not a possibility.

We didn’t even need to discuss that one. Collective trauma.

Piss: Could be a possibility.

I made a grossed-out face right away.

“John, what the fuck is this piss thing? You into that?”

He laughed.

“No, but I thought it was funny… and there’s squirting, right?”

“Squirting isn’t piss, John!”

“See how it wasn’t clear?”

“But in what world is squirting piss? You’re an idiot, dude! No piss, got it?”

“Just a little pee…”

“No and hell no!”

Consensual violent sex: It’s a certainty.

I crossed my arms, suspicious.

“I doubt you could even slap me, you wimp.”

He glanced at me from the corner of his eye, a smile playing at the edge of his mouth.

“And who said it’s me who wants to do the slapping?”

He pulled me in for a silly kiss, and I squeezed his face with my hands.

“You rascal…”

Cuckqueen or cuckold: 100% compatibility.

I blinked.

“John… what did you mark here?” I frowned, looking at the screen.

“The same as you, duh. It came up 100%!” He shrugged like it was no big deal.

I stared at him, trying to figure it out.

“You want to see me getting fucked by another guy?” I blurted out, straight up.

He gave a nervous little smile, scratching the back of his neck.

“And you want to see me fucking someone else?”

The question came with that look like he already knew the answer. I felt something different there, like curiosity mixed with horniness.

“Uh… to be honest, I kinda liked watching you with Tati.”

John looked at me closely, like he was trying to decode what I really meant by that.

“You think about open relationship stuff, Vee?”

I held back a laugh. John, who froze up even marking “yes” on a silly quiz, now coming at me like he was ready to start a harem.

“I think it’s kinda early for us to talk about that, right?” I stretched my legs on the bed, yawning. “I don’t know, you must still be bummed that I hooked up with Tati…”

He went quiet for a few seconds, messing with the mouse for no reason.

“Actually… I kinda liked the idea.”

I whipped my head toward him.

“But the idea of me fucking a woman or a man?”

He shrugged, a bit awkward.

“Honestly, it doesn’t make a difference to me.”

I bit my lip, looking at him. What did he mean by that? That he’d be down to watch? That he had some fantasy? Or that he just wanted to shake off the guilt from what went down with Tati?

“So you’re saying you’d get off on watching me fuck another guy?”

“I don’t know, I guess it depends. But if it was our thing, something you’d be into too… I think I wouldn’t mind.”

I looked at him, kinda impressed. John wasn’t exactly the most open-minded guy in the world; he had those silly jealous moments sometimes. But now he was sitting there, talking all chill about it?

“And you? Would you like watching me with someone else?”

I stayed silent for a second. The image popped into my head uninvited. John with another girl, groping, kissing, fucking… I felt the heat rising through my body.

“Uh… yeah, I think so.”

He laughed, a short laugh.

“You overthink everything, huh?”

“I’m just trying to figure out how I feel.”

John chuckled and closed the laptop, flopping back on the bed.

“Okay. So we know we’ve got potential to be top-tier perverts.”

I burst out laughing.

“We already knew that, John. This just confirmed it. You gonna finish the quiz?”

“Nah, I’m scared of what you marked for the shit question and I don’t wanna know.”

I smacked him hard for that dumb joke.

“John…”

“What do you want, girl?” He asked, scooting back a bit, wary of the next hit.

“Grab your mom’s plug for us to use?”

He gave me that “seriously?” look, but couldn’t hide a little grin.

“You really got into that anal stuff, huh?”

“Oh, come on, you’re not gonna say you didn’t?”

He threw up his hands, surrendering.

“Alright, alright… I’ll get it.”

John got up, grabbed the keys, and headed to his mom’s room. We’d already figured out that the mailbox key opened the padlock on the box where she kept her toys. A major screw-up in the house owner’s erotic security system.

I lay there, scrolling on my phone while he handled the mission, until out of nowhere, I heard him yell:

“Vee, come here quick.”

I got a chill down my spine. I got up and went to his parents’ room. When I walked in, I saw John sitting on the bed, the box open, holding a note. He handed it to me without a word.

“John, my son, please, it’s unhygienic for you to use my toys with your girlfriends. If you want one, buy it with the card we gave you.
Signed, Mom!”

My whole body went cold right then.

“Holy shit. How did she find out?! And what the hell does ‘girlfriends’ plural mean, John?”

John shook his head, looking lifeless.

“My mom’s a witch, dude.”

He seemed to ignore the plural part.

“Did we forget to wash something?”

He frowned, thoughtful.

“Probably left something wet in the box and she saw…”

My heart raced.

“Is there a camera in the room?”

We exchanged a terrified look and started scanning the room with our eyes. We looked around, checking every corner of the ceiling, every piece of furniture, every suspicious outlet.

“If there is, we’re totally fucked.” I muttered, already picturing John’s mom rewatching footage of us raiding her stuff.

He stood up slowly, like he was trying to remember every time we’d snooped in there without permission. And since he was the conspiracy king now, this would come in handy.

“Okay, look… If there was a camera here, she would’ve said something else in the note.”

I crossed my arms, not totally convinced.

“Or maybe she just figured it’d be better to pretend she didn’t see…”

John ran his hand over his face, still thinking, and yelled.

“What the hell, my mom’s too modern!”

I laughed, still nervous.

“Modern to a fault! Who signs a note like that, like it’s a fridge memo?!”

“‘If you need something, use the card, kisses, Mom’…” He mimicked her voice, mocking.

We stayed quiet for a moment, soaking in the embarrassment that had just settled in the room.

“So…” I said, trying to lighten the mood. “Let’s buy our own, then?”

John looked at me, still holding the note.

“It’ll be the weirdest purchase I’ll ever make with my parents’ card.”

“Relax, after this, I think they won’t be surprised by anything anymore.”

John took the note back, his eyes scanning it back and forth like he was hunting for a hidden code.

“I think they suspected because we might’ve left something out of place,” he said, thoughtful. “I don’t know, maybe the box position, the closet half-open… So she put up that warning just to act tough in case I messed with it again.”

I looked at him, considering the theory. It made sense.

“Could be…” I murmured, settling back on the bed. “So, let’s use it and buy our own after?”

He looked at me, eyebrow raised, but deep down he already knew the answer.

“Obviously!”

We grabbed the plug and headed back to his room. John started rummaging through his drawers for the lube, but he was acting weird, too focused. I recognized that kind of silence: it wasn’t him getting in the mood; it was him cooking up some crazy theory.

I huffed, already picturing him getting paranoid about the note and ruining my fun. And sure enough, seconds later he froze mid-motion, like a big revelation had just hit him from above.

“Of course! We were total idiots, dude!”

I rolled my eyes.

“What did we do?”

He turned to me, eyes shining with satisfaction.

“You remember the Wi-Fi vibrator?”

“Yeah… We used it on the street and in here.”

“Right! To use it, we had to pair it with the remote. And remember, the next week my dad traveled?”

“Yeah.”

“I bet my mom tried to use it and saw it wasn’t paired! And like everything electronic in this house that stops working, the blame always falls on me… They must’ve figured I messed with it!”

I stared at him, taking in the theory.

“So the note wasn’t a scolding because she found out… but a warning, like ‘I know you might’ve touched this, so if you do it again, do it right’?”

He pointed at me, excited.

“Exactly! That’s why she used the plural: girlfriends. She wasn’t confirming anything, just laying her cards on the table in case I ever wanted to use it.”

John had that gleam in his eye like he’d just solved a big human mystery. Me, honestly, I was just relieved to know my future mother-in-law didn’t think I was using her vibrators.

But more than that, I was in a hurry.

“Oh my God, John, you’re a genius!” I clapped, sarcastic. “That’s why I love you! Now come eat my ass, come on!”

John rolled his eyes, laughing.

“You can slip an ‘I love you’ into the worst sentences possible, Virginia.”

“And you love me anyway,” I winked, pulling him by the shirt.

He lay down next to me, already groping me in that lazy way of his, pulling me slowly into a kiss, and what a kiss. John’s mouth had a warm taste, mixed with that scent of sun-warmed skin, his cologne faded from the whole day. His breath came steady against my face, and I just wanted to get lost in it.

My hands slid down in the rhythm of the kiss, tugging off the shorts and panties, no rush. I wanted him to prep me right, the way I liked it, the way he knew how.

“You want me on all fours?”

My voice came out low, kinda husky, and before he could answer, I was already positioning myself, arching my ass up high, wanting to open up for him just right. John sat behind me, his face level with my ass, and I felt him let out a sigh before touching me.

His hands were warm and soft, gliding lightly over my skin. He started massaging my cheeks, and that eased me in slow, like he had all the time in the world. His fingers traced patterns on my skin, and when the first kisses came, quick and scattered, I was already gone. His touch was warm, sometimes lightly wet from the saliva he left there by accident. The smell in the room started shifting, that mix of light sweat, skin, desire. I felt his heat getting closer and closer, and my whole body was already reacting before he even got where I wanted him.

I tried to keep my legs spread as wide as possible, without having to spread myself with my hands, wanting to make it easy for him. And then he started the licks. First, trailing slow down my inner thighs, the tip of his tongue drawing lazy paths, his fingers teasing around my asshole. Then, sliding lower, over my outer lips, like he was mapping every inch of me.

I felt the hot texture of his tongue, the contrast with the cooler air hitting my wet skin, and my body responded with long shivers. That tenderness was so good it almost made me drowsy, a warm haze that left me totally vulnerable. But then he found a wetter spot and gave it a little suck.

My whole body prickled.

I felt a jolt shoot from my pussy straight up my spine, my fingers gripping the sheets without me realizing. My chest rose and fell slow, like it was trying to process what just happened. After that, I gotta say, I hate the term, but he literally started sucking on my clit.

His mouth sucked in a way that took away any control, while a wet finger circled my asshole slow. That gentle touch there sent subtle waves of pleasure that caught me off guard. I could only moan soft, a hoarse, broken sound, like a thank you. John knew me too well. He didn’t want to make me explode right away; he didn’t want rush. He wanted to relax me.

And he was doing it.

Even when he slid his fingers inside, it wasn’t to make me cum yet. He just wanted to get me wet, totally ready for him.

“I’m gonna put it in, okay?” he warned, his voice lower than before.

“Yeah… slow.”

The first finger went in, sliding hot and careful, then the second, doing that motion to open me up gradual. I felt the skin giving way bit by bit, a weird discomfort mixed with a shiver running up my spine. I never quite got why my body reacted like that, but I liked it.

“Now the part you hate, hehehe…” John murmured, already grabbing the lube.

I rolled my eyes.

I hated applying lube. The cold touch, the sticky texture… It made me feel slimy, tacky. Maybe it was the brand, maybe it was in my head, but I always complained about it. John knew, so he never applied it straight. He’d warm it on his own fingers first before spreading it on me, which made the feeling way better.

I felt his fingers sliding easier now, the warm touch contrasting with the slippery lube. He went deep, poking inside my ass and giving me these light cramps, a weird discomfort I could never tell if it was pleasure or just my body’s warning.

Two fingers pushed in to the limit and pulled out again, a patient, rhythmic motion. I breathed slow, feeling my body adjust to it, going back and forth between tension and release.

“I think that’s enough, Vee.”

I let out the breath slow, shifted on the mattress.

And closed my eyes.

I felt John moving behind me, positioning the plug at the entrance. The cool material made me shiver right away.

He tried to fit it with a kinda twisting motion.

“Not like that, John…” I complained, feeling a weird discomfort.

“Sorry.”

He gripped it firmer and started pushing slow, respecting my body’s pace. My asshole gave way little by little, feeling that bulge slide in. The sensation was odd. It felt like I was… shitting in reverse.

But at the same time, it was good feeling it go in.

Before I knew it, the thing slid in all the way for the first time easy. John repeated the process a couple more times, in and out, helping me open up more. Each time he pulled it out and pushed back in, my body took it easier.

“There we go. And now?”

I opened my eyes slow, feeling that good pressure inside me.

“Now I wanna go out on the street like this, duh! Obviously!”

He burst out laughing, holding my waist.

“You’re crazy, girl!”