Chapter 19
I couldn’t hold back the smile. It was automatic. Every photo I swiped through with my finger made me chuckle softly, almost embarrassed for myself. I examined everything—the pose, the makeup, the wig, even the accessories. My eyes raced over every detail, and in my head, a line of questions started forming, one after another, disorganized and urgent.
That… that wasn’t a man. I mean, it was. I knew it was Alfred; the facial features gave it away. But the body? The clothes? The way he looked at the camera? Oh my God.
On the floor around the coffee table, John was sitting with him, rolling with laughter like a kid with a new toy.
“But, Alfred… are you gay?” John blurted out between laughs.
“John! What a shitty question, fuck,” I said, scolding him right away.
“No, man. Not at all.” Alfred answered calmly, like he’d heard it a thousand times. “But, since we’re in this vibe of revelations… I think I’m bi. Who knows.”
“What do you mean ‘who knows’?” It was my turn to say it, leaning forward. The topic pulled me in in a weird way.
That interested me. It touched me, for real. I’d hooked up with Angie twice, but in my head, I always blamed it on the heat of the moment. I’d never fallen for a woman. Never stared at one on the street and thought dirty thoughts.
But the doubt was there. It always had been.
“Do you like guys or not?” I fired off, without thinking too much. I needed the answer, like it would help me understand myself.
“I only told that to my therapist, okay?” he said, looking at us with that air of someone about to drop a secret in the middle of the group. “I have… a little urge to experiment.”
“Oh, John!” I said, laughing, offering my boyfriend as a guinea pig without even thinking about the consequences.
“Whoa, count me out! I like women.”
“Come on, John… Alfred looks pretty girly in those photos to me.”
Alfred laughed at my teasing, and John just shook his head. But the truth was, he seemed lighter now. The tension had evaporated, like the confusion from the last few hours had given way to a strange peace. Everyone there relaxed.
“And how do you get all that stuff?” I asked, curious. “Doesn’t your mom think it’s weird when you show up at home with a wig and anime clothes?”
“My mom doesn’t give a shit about me. She barely stays home. And my dad, well… you know. He’s dead.”
“Yeah, you mentioned…”
I knew. Alfred’s parents always shit on him. He was raised by his grandma, and only after he grew up did his mom decide to “be a mom” and take him to live with her.
“So I kinda like showing off. I post my photos with my head cropped or wearing a mask on this subreddit. I think it’s cool to get comments. People are kinda assholes in the chat, but deep down… I like it.”
While he talked, I noticed something weird. His voice sounded different. Not just the tone—it was the way he spoke. Lighter, more loose. Even his body, his posture… it was different. More feminine, more soft. He didn’t even seem to notice.
“Yeah…” I let out, laughing. “I thought it was funny. And look… I’ve never seen so much dick in my life.”
“John, weren’t you jealous?” Alfred prodded.
“Me? Hell no. It was my idea!”
“What a pervert…”
“Me, a pervert?” he shot back right away. “Look who’s talking! You post photos of your shaved legs and throw them on the internet, bro… I mean… sis!”
“Oh, can you two stop?” I complained, laughing. “You’re making the conversation boring.”
Everything was calmer now, my stomach hurt from hunger, and I went to the kitchen to see what I could whip up for a snack. I took the chance to look at the photos again.
“Alfred’s kinda hot like that…”
Now that there was no more surprise or nervousness, an unwanted little heat started hitting me as I looked at the photos again. Right then, I remembered the story with the app; John and I had done an online test where both of us checked that we liked the idea of doing it with other people and watching.
And I couldn’t help but think.
What if…
Some pornographic flashes went through my head, and I laughed to myself at my own naughtiness. I shook my head to chase it away and focused on making the snack quick for us. That’s when John came into the kitchen.
“Damn, Vee… good thing everything turned out okay, right?”
He came up behind me hugging, his warm hand on my belly, and planted a kiss on my neck.
“Yeah… I’m chill now. I was really nervous.”
“Where is he?”
“Bathroom.”
“I’m blown away by what he said.”
“And you… aren’t you embarrassed he saw your ass?”
That caught me off guard. I hadn’t even thought about it. Before, just imagining an acquaintance seeing that photo made my stomach turn. Now, the guy who saw my ass was out in the living room, messing with his phone, and me? I should be dying of shame… I wasn’t. Not at all. It was like it didn’t bother me.
“Vee… did you see his photos in panties? Where does he hide all that? Is it Photoshop?”
“I don’t know… but you can ask him.”
“I can, huh? He seemed pretty open about it.”
“Yeah… must suck not being able to talk to anyone about it.”
“Yeah. For real… the guys don’t like him much.”
John stopped, staring at nothing. I knew his mind was doing all sorts of mental calculations right then to say something.
“Vee.”
“Hey, babe.”
“What did you think of him?”
“What do you mean?”
“About Alfred…”
I stayed silent for a second.
“I know you’re talking about Alfred. I just don’t get where you’re going with this.”
My heart tightened. John always had trouble saying certain things, but I knew exactly what was going through his head. Because what he wanted to say had already crossed my mind too.
“Nothing. I just… thought it was cool what he does.”
He decided to drop it, and I figured it was better not to push the topic.
After everything was ready, we ate right there in the kitchen, some sandwiches I threw together quick. The guys washed the dishes, and then we went to John’s room. We watched dumb videos on the phone, talked shit, laughed—like nothing had happened. No weird vibes, no off comments. All good.
It was getting late, and I knew my mom would start bugging me soon.
“John, I gotta head out. It’s late, and my mom’s gonna start texting any minute.”
“I’m out too,” said Alfred, standing up. “I’ll go with you.”
We said bye to John and left together. He was gonna walk me for about four blocks before heading his way. So I didn’t have to go most of the way alone.
As soon as we turned the corner, he brought it up.
“Virginia… did you like the photos I showed you?”
“Yeah, I did. You look really pretty like that.”
“I… I don’t know if I can say this, but… I really liked yours.”
That caught me by surprise. I looked at the ground, not knowing where to hide my face.
“Oh… thanks. I… didn’t expect anyone to see it.”
“No worries.” He paused, his step slowing a bit. “And… if you have more and wanna send them… I’d like to see.”
He didn’t say that in front of John. That lit up a warning in my head. Was he hitting on me? Straight up like that?
“I don’t know if there are… we’ve never done it before. And I already regret it. If there are, they’re on John’s phone. But he probably deleted them.”
I said that with that subtle tone of “hey, dude, I have a boyfriend.” It was automatic. Alfred didn’t threaten anything, but…
“I get it. I like that exhibitionist thing. And… if you both have them, I’d like that. Nothing big.”
“John’s too? You wanna see his dick, Alfred?”
“Hmm… yeah. Actually, I’m curious to see it.”
I stopped for a second. I don’t know what got into me. But if I had a photo of John right there, I swear… I swear I would’ve sent it. Right then.
“Okay. At home, I’ll see if I have it and send it to you.”
He laughed. Laughed in that almost feminine way. He gave me two goodbye kisses, one on each cheek, and turned the corner for his path.
I stood there for a second. The street more empty.
And I… got thoughtful.
That’s when I had a mega absurd idea.