Chapter 21
A little time passed. That weird silence, you know? When nobody knows what to say after… I just sat there, listening to my breathing, my heart still beating all wonky. I asked to hang up, said I was going to the bathroom. I was soaked… dripping, really, it had run down my thighs. When I went to clean up, every time I touched myself, my body shuddered. If I pushed it a bit, I’d come again. Easy. I was so horny it was pissing me off, but I needed to breathe. Calm down. Because otherwise, I’d end up wanting to meet him. And I couldn’t.
I came back to the room a bit calmer—or pretending to be—and called back.
“So…? You okay? Still in one piece?” I tried to joke, but my voice came out kinda weak.
“Yeah… damn, that was… too good,” he paused, one of those pauses where it seems like he’s gonna say something and doesn’t. But he did. “You think we could do that again?”
I stayed quiet for a second. Bit the corner of my mouth. I wanted to say “yes,” but I didn’t want to seem desperate.
“I… yeah, I think so. I liked it. A lot.”
“But I’m talking… like… in person, you know?”
My stomach flipped. I closed my eyes, trying not to grin like an idiot.
“In person?” I repeated, pretending to be surprised. But I knew. And my body was already gearing up to say yes.
“Look, Alfred… I’d have to talk to John first.”
Silence. A short silence, but heavy.
“You’re gonna tell him what we did?”
“Yeah, duh. No big deal.” I let out a little laugh, half cynical, half turned on. “He’s even waiting for the pics…”
“Yeah… ended up doing it all on video, huh?”
“And it was good.” I took a deep breath, my mouth still hot from the memory. “I’ll talk to him, okay? Gotta hang up now.”
“Alright. I’ll look for some more pics here… you sending them to him?”
John… I wasn’t sure if he’d want to see. Maybe just out of curiosity. But me… I wanted to. I wanted a memory. It wasn’t just about him, it was about me too.
“Awesome, he’ll love it.” I lied without blinking.
But then it hit me. What if Alfred thought John was gay? That could turn into an unnecessary mess.
“But look… Alfred, just to be clear: John’s not gay, okay? It’s more like… curiosity. Exploration. That’s it.”
“Got it, Vee. I didn’t even think about that, relax.”
“Okay. Kiss. Hit me up later.”
I hung up. But my head stayed there, buzzing. And my body… too.
I finished getting dressed, threw on whatever—a ratty old pair of shorts and a baggy tee—and went to the kitchen. My mom was having dinner with my dad, the two of them talking low, like always. I sat with them, trying to act normal, but inside…
“Damn, they have no idea what their little girl’s been up to.”
It came out of nowhere. And it hit me.
What if they found out? What would my mom think of me?
That thought made me kinda sad. Not regret… but imagining the disappointment in her eyes. I knew I wasn’t doing anything wrong—not to me—but still…
It was almost bedtime when John called.
“Vee… you okay?”
“Yeah, babe… and you?”
“Go on, tell me everything… how was it?”
I breathed. It was hard to know how far I wanted to take it with him in that talk. The deal was swapping pics, not touching over video… and definitely not what I did. I still wasn’t sure if I’d tell him everything.
“Hold on a sec.” I said softly.
I opened the gallery and picked. I sent the ones I took, along with the one Alfred had sent. His stopped there—he didn’t send any more, even though he promised.
“This one’s the one I sent. And these… I took, but didn’t end up sending, babe.”
“Let me look at them closely…”
He went a full minute in silence. I almost hung up thinking he’d frozen.
“Damn… you look so hot in that pic. We should do more of this. Swap pics sometimes. Maybe even record a video… I dunno.”
“Video’s a bit much, John. I’m terrified of that stuff leaking. After today, I shouldn’t have even sent pics to anyone. I’m crazy for doing this.”
“But… he’s got a nice cock. I think even nicer than mine.”
That caught me off guard. My heart jumped and I answered too quick.
“Yes!” I froze. “I mean… no! No, babe. I like yours more. His looks like… a toy or something. Kinda lame.”
I almost let his jealousy slip because of some dumb shit. I took a deep breath, praying he’d buy it without more questions.
“John…”
But he stayed quiet. On the other end, just the sound of his breathing on the phone.
“Talk to me, come on. Don’t start.”
“His really is nice.”
“But I like yours, okay?” I said softly, trying to fix the misunderstanding. “Because yours comes attached to you… you goof.”
“Alright, I’m not jealous or anything. But… what else did you guys talk about?”
Now it got tricky. John was paranoid. If I said we just chatted, he’d suspect. And if I spilled everything at once, it could go south. I had to choose carefully.
“You believe that perv suggested we hook up, John?”
“Of course. Duh, what’d you expect? You sent him nudes of you and me. That’s basically an invite.”
“And you’d be cool with that?” I asked, kinda firm. I took a deep breath. Sometimes his lack of jealousy drove me nuts.
“Yeah, sure. I already told you I would.”
Silence.
“So you won’t be mad about what I did…?”
“I can guess what it was. But tell me.”
“What do you think it was?”
“That you fingered yourself to his pic.”
“John…”
My throat tightened. I paused. Time to let it out.
“I did… with him. On camera.”
Silence. The kind that throbs.
His response came too fast.
“Okay.”
“Okay? What do you mean okay? You’re not gonna say anything else?”
Even if he tried to convince me and it was true he was fine with it, the feeling of wrongness was huge in my head. I kinda wanted to justify and downplay it at all costs.
“But I didn’t show myself, okay?” I blurted quick, before he pictured anything wrong. “He turned on his camera, started touching himself, and… that’s it. I just watched, masturbating too. And he came on video for me to see.”
“Did you ask for that?”
“No… he offered. And I… I accepted. I was turned on by the idea, that’s all.”
On the other end, silence. Long. I almost called out, but he spoke first:
“Vee…”
“Yeah?”
“Am I gay?”
The question hit hard. I didn’t laugh. It wasn’t a joke.
“Why are you saying that?”
“I dunno… I thought the guy’s cock was hot. And I don’t know if it was what you told me, or how you told it, but… I’m here, hard, wanting to jerk off to you guys.”
I stayed quiet. Tried to picture him listening to everything I said, imagining… feeling.
“Hey, you could try it, John. I tried and liked it. But I think I was kinda inclined that way already, you know? I’ve always had these crossed-up urges.”
“But… I dunno. With a guy… it’s different. Weird to think about now. I’ve always been obsessed with women, with pussy… and now I’m here imagining if… if I sucked a cock, I’d like it.”
“Sucking cock is good, idiot. Of course it is. Don’t you like eating pussy?”
“Yeah, fuck. You know I do.”
“So… it’s like that. Just different. It has texture, taste, smell… and when it’s hard, it throbs in your mouth…” I stopped, laughing to myself. “See? Me talking and you’re gonna end up coming just from my voice.”
He laughed low. That laugh that comes with a muffled sigh.
“I’m already stroking my cock, Vee. Just from hearing you… holy shit.”
“And what are you imagining? Me with Alfred? Or you… with him?”
Silence. A little held-breath noise.
“I… don’t know. I think both. I came thinking about it earlier. You sucking him. And me… watching. Or joining in.”
I closed my eyes. Just hearing his voice with that weight, that deeper tone, I felt heat rising in my chest.
“You’d let him suck you?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. If I trusted him. If you were there… maybe. But… what if I like it too much? You’d say you don’t regret it?”
“I’d love it, John. It’d be hot to see you discovering yourself. See your body reacting to new things. And me there, watching you… touching myself.”
“Fuck, Vee…”
“Still stroking?”
“Yeah… but I want to hear more from you.”
“Then close your eyes. Imagine I’m there, on my knees between your legs, looking at you, holding your hand and saying: let him touch you, babe… let him lick you, real slow…”
“Shit… keep going…”
“I’m gonna press my face to yours, whispering it’s all good, that it feels nice. You’re gonna look at me with that goofy face you make when you’re about to come… and I’m gonna say: come. Come hard. I wanna see.”
He moaned. Soft. Like he’d forgotten to hold it back.
“Vee… I came.”
I smiled, soft.
“I know. I heard.”
We stayed silent for a bit. I didn’t want to hang up. Neither did he. But the weight of what was said still hung there.
“You okay with this, John?”
“I don’t know what it all means. But I’m good with you. That I know.”
“Then that’s something.”
He laughed, light.
“We’re totally crazy, huh?”
“Totally.”
Silence again.
“But I like it. I like this kind of crazy with you.”
“Me too. It makes me feel alive.”
“Good night, Vee.”
“Good night, babe.”
He let out a muffled laugh before hanging up. I stayed there, staring at the ceiling… with the feeling that something new had just started.